Friday, December 02, 2005


Second admit for my CW class... gets picked at on Wednesday:


Chapter 1

Ray snuggled into her blanket. She loved this place. The happy place where she could drift in and out of dreamland, let her mind wander. The blanket felt like a giant warm fuzzy hug that kept the crisp morning air out. She lazily opened her eyes to the giant pine trees above her, then closed them and lost herself in the aroma of the camp. The smell of last night's campfire lingered in the air and mixed with the smell of bacon wafting over the camp from the cooking tents. It was almost enough to drag her out of bed, but then she pulled her pillow in close and buried her head into it once more to savor the moment. She listened as the camp awoke from its slumber. Pots clanked together as people began their morning routines.

“Ray, Baccus would like to see you.”

Ray opened her eyes reluctantly and looked up to a freckled face framed by chestnut braids. These new members just looked so young. Was it possible they were getting younger? It was more probable that she was just getting older. Ray sighed to herself, then said, “Thank you Sophie. I'll be right there.”

Ray grabbed her bag and put her warmer clothes on underneath her blanket. Then she quickly packed up her camp so she would be ready to go. If Baccus wanted to see her, it usually meant he had somewhere he needed her to go in a hurry. She had wanted to go fishing this morning for her breakfast, but the early meeting and probable early departure would mean dropping by one of the cook's tents for breakfast. After a loud growl escaped from her stomach as she walked the camp, she decided to grab a roll before the meeting. She was just finishing the roll when she reached Baccus' tent. Entering the small cloth room, she watched as Baccus finished putting on his boots.

“Ah, Raysunda. Good morning! Sleep well?” He said smiling as he stood up from his bed roll. Ray wished he would just drop the formalities. She hated meetings where people stood around saying a lot of polite things and never got to the meat of the situation.“Yes fine thank you. What did you want to see me about?”

Baccus walked to the far side of the room and picked up on of the many tubes that lined the tent wall. Opening the tube, he replied,“I have a new job for you.”

“Oh?” Ray answered with false surprise. Over the years, she had grown fond of this dance.

“Yes, and your abilities make you the perfect one for the job,” he stated. She smiled in his direction, but his eyes were focused on what he had taken out of the tube. One glance told her it was map. It looked like it had been drawn in a hurry. He continued, “I just received a message from Tyal. Last night a group of Harkon's men invaded the village and kidnapped two girls. I need you to go to Tyal and gather as much information as possible. Send me a report, then see if you can track them. We need to get those girls back.”

“How do we know they were Harkon's men?” Ray asked.

“We don't. Thats just what I have been told,” he said. Then he looked up. His grey eyes were like steel and his face was serious. “Between you and me, Ray, this raid sounds a bit fishy. I need you to get to the root of the situation. You tend to notice things most wouldn't.”

“Well, you know me, Baccus. I like to be where the action is.” Truth was, she was way past due for a vacation. She needed a week without running through the forest, fighting off bears, and taking down bandits. But she did what she needed to in order to get the job done.

“Here,” he said, handing her the map he had been looking at. “Its a map of Tyal and the surrounding area. You will need it if you want to get into the village.”

“Are the village gates coded?” She asked. Baccus occasionally forgot little things like that. It made her life interesting to say the least.

“The passwords will appear on the map when you reach the northern entrance,” he answered. Looking at the map, she realized the town would be undiscovered to those just passing through the Byten Mountains. It was in an area considered to be haunted and dangerous. Baccus told her of the guards and sentries she would need to greet on her way up to Tyal. It seemed strange to her that a rural mountain town would be so well guarded. Stranger still, that someone would go through all the trouble of breaking in just to take two little girls.

“I am sending Sophie with you. She needs the experience,” Baccus said as he led her to the door-flap of the tent.

“Surely you can't expect me to take a green one with me on a job like this, Baccus. I bet she can't even shoot a bow. She will get herself killed.” Baccus had never given her a green before. She couldn't believe he was starting now.

“Well, make sure that she doesn't. We need more hunters Ray and I have watched this girl. I think you will be surprised.” Baccus clasped her on the arm. “Return safely, I will be needing you again soon. Those girls are very important and I am putting my trust in you. Please do what you can,” and with an air of finality, he opened the flap and bid her goodbye.

After leaving the tent, Ray walked over to the horse master and told him to ready her mare, Blue Shoes. Then, remembering the green that would be under her care, asked if he had a horse Sophie could use. He informed her that Sophie had her own mount and he would ready it for her. That done, Ray started walking briskly towards her bedroll at the other end of the camp. She had already made it half way through the camp when it occurred to her that she should probably take a spare mount. Jogging back over to the tethered horses, she ran into Sophie.

“Get your things together green, we leave in an hour,” Ray told her. Grey eyes looked at her with surprise.

“We do? Where are we going?”

“Baccus has a job for me and he is putting you in my care,” she said. Then added with a smirk, “You get to be my new project. Meet me at the horse master's as soon as your are packed.”

Ray was already walking away when Sophie shouted, “Where are we going? What do I pack?”

Not stopping to turn around, Ray answered back, “The mountains! Pack warm but pack light. We need to move quickly!” And with that she was gone, having turned the corner at the nearest row of tents.

Sophie just stood there for a moment watching Ray's dark wavy hair sway as she walked out of sight. Then her brain went into overdrive. This was her chance! This was what she had been waiting for. To prove herself to an elder of the force. And to be taken in by Raysunda Azure was a great honor. As far as Sophie knew, Ray had never taken a green under her wing before. Sophie ran to the long tent she shared with the other greens who had yet to be chosen by an elder. She quickly packed her bed roll and clothing, then gathered the few weapons she had. If she was to be riding with one of the greatest hunters in the land, she figured she ought to be prepared. Sophie had been assigned to Baccus' force over a month ago. During that time she had become well liked within the camp, but she was worried that this would be it for her. All of her closest friends had been taken in by elders within the first two weeks. The only elders in the camp who had looked at her so far were Bennit, the cook, and the blacksmith, Goldie. She didn't want to be a cook or blacksmith, so she had decided she would just make herself useful for the time being as a message runner. She had hoped that one day one of the battlers would notice her, but she never imagined that she could be a hunter like Ray. When she had finished all her packing, she brought her packs down to the horse master so that he could load them when the horses were ready.

She had all this with time to spare, so she decided to say goodbye to some of her friends in the camp. Since it was so close to breakfast, she thought some of them might still be in the dinning tent. Walking into the huge tent, she noticed a group of brown ranks tormenting a smaller green boy. As she neared the group, she recognized the green. It was Jordie, the newest addition to the force. After spending three nights listening to him cry himself to sleep, she knew he wasn't going to handle this problem very well. The others towered over him, calling him names and occasionally striking out at boy.

“Leave him alone,” Sophie stated.

The brown ranks looked over at her for a moment, then started to laugh. One of the brown ranks answered,“What are you going to do to stop us sprout?”

Sophie didn't the situation. Sure they were older and bigger. But they had no right to pick on Jordie. The force frowned on anything they considered inner turmoil, and violence within the ranks always qualified as inner turmoil.

“I'll do whatever I have to. Let him go,” Sophie replied. They were starting to turn on her now, Jordie forgotten. They circled Sophie, taunting her with rude remarks. That didn't bother her. What did bother her was that there were five of them, and she had only wrestled her three older cousins before. She was worried how two more might complicate things. Suddenly one of them grabbed her from behind. She stomped on his foot, then smashed his nose in with the back of her head. Another decided to join in and Sophie blocked his leg while grabbing the wrist of the third brown rank who had just thrown a punch at her head. She continued the force of the punch by twisting the caught wrist while locking his arm, and sent him running into the fourth brown rank who had tried to come up behind her like the first brown rank. Then it hit. One of them had landed a kick right in her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She staggered back, surprised, then attacked him with everything she had. Kicks, punches, they were messy and frantic, but she was mad.

“STOP!” a loud, willful voice commanded. They all stopped to find the source of the command. Baccus stepped forward out of the crowd that had gathered around them. Sophie, now fearful of what might come, looked through the faces of the crowd. Standing by the entrance, she saw Ray. Sophie's heart was pounding.

“All onlookers may leave. I wish to speak to only those involved,” Baccus announced. Jordie walked up to join Sophie and the brown ranks, while those not involved left the tent. Baccus approached the group.

“What happened here?” he said. When no one answered, he shook his head then said, “You all must report to the camp keeper for extra duties this week. Sophie, I'll see that Ray provides you with an accurate punishment while you are gone. Now, I'm sure you all have things you should be doing, so go. But remember, next time the consequences will be far greater.”

Ray watched as he left the dinning tent. When Baccus saw her on his way to the dinning hall, he said she might want to come with him to see what was happening in the dinning hall. She did not expect to find little Sophie taking on five brown ranks. As she was watching the fight, Jordie told her how Sophie saved him. It was clear that he was smitten. Once in the tent, Baccus had told her he would wait for her signal to stop the fight. He knew Ray would want to see how Sophie handled herself. When it was clear the girl had lost self control, Ray signaled. Maybe it was time to take on a green. She could use the company.

“Sophie! Hurry up girl, your late!” Ray said as she walked over to her. Something on Sophie's face seemed to soften a little and her eyes lit up.

“Sorry Ray, I'll go make sure the horses are ready,” she said. Then she took off running in the direction of the horse master. She was gone before Ray could say anything else. Baccus found Ray on her way to meet Sophie. He had a knowing grin on his face and Ray could tell how satisfied he was with himself.

“So, what do you think of her now?” he said. They slowed their walk to a stroll.

“She will do fine. Now tell me what you haven't said about her,” Ray prompted. “What should I know? Why has she caught your attention?”

He looked at the ground for a moment, then took a deep breath, “Ray, the girls that were taken from Tyal are her sisters. She knows the area and has grown up with the guards. I know her father and when I took her into my force, I promised him I would look out for her. She is good with a bow, but she has no formal training. That's where you come in. I need you to teach her. Its the best way I know to look out for her. She needs to be able to look out for herself.”

“Why didn't you tell me all this before?” Ray asked. She thought she was going to be training a green, not babysitting. Well, she entered the force as a green, so Ray would treat her as one. Besides, she just proved she has the guts of a hunter, maybe she could learn the skills as well. “It will be fine Baccus. I'll look out for her.”

He seemed to relax a little and as they neared the horse master's tent their pace quickened. It was time to go. Ray saw Sophie looking over the horses as she walked up. The horse master said, “That girl knows a lot about horses for a green. She's looking over your extra mounts now.”

“Thank you horse master,” Ray replied.

“No problem. Name's Leo by the way. Pleased to be of service Lady Azure.”

“Ray. And thanks again, Leo.” Turning back to face Baccus, she said, “Its time. I'll send a report as soon as I can. Goodbye Baccus. Stay well.” She walked over to Blue Shoes and expertly mounted the horse. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Sophie slide into the saddle in one easy move.

“Ya ready girl?” Ray said.

“All set here, Ray,” Sophie answered. They got the horses in motion and headed out of camp. Ray led the way and the two spare mounts, tethered to Sophie's horse, made up the rear. They passed the dinning tent and the new green's tent before they reached the gate. Waving as they passed guards, they left the camp and then headed north.

They hadn't gone far before Sophie asked, “Ray. Do you mind if I ask where we are going?”

“We are headed to the Byten Mountains. To Tyal. Baccus tells me that you are from there. Do you miss it?” Ray replied. All around them the forest was silent except for the steady beat of hooves the horses made as they walked. A slight breeze gently caressed the trees and the day was warm.

“I haven't been there in a long time. Most people don't know it exists. They think we are bewitched or something. They think the town is evil.”

“Why would they think that?” Ray said. She was getting curious about this place already. Usually when people labeled a place as evil, it was because they didn't understand something there. People tend to fear what they don't understand.

“Oh, you will see when we get there,” Sophie said. She didn't seem to want to talk about it. Ray guessed that there was a reason she didn't openly tell people she was from Tyal. People probably treated her differently once they knew.

“But it will be good to see home again, won't it?” Ray prodded. They had just crossed over a hill and they could see a river not far ahead.

“Well... It will be interesting. So, whats for lunch?”

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

new intro?

thinking of opening the story with this....

They were coming after her. Oh how she hated spiders. Across the desert to the cliffs, she ran as fast as she could. Got to get away... please... don't eat me.. run run run.. get away get away. Her heart was pumping. Got to get to the cliffs.

She reached the base of the cliffs and started climbing. She looked over her shoulder and there they were. The giant beastly spiders. Big, black, hairy spiders with huge dripping fangs. Panicky hands reached up for another hold, but it didn't matter how fast or hard she climbed, she never got any higher. They were coming. She was going to die. And then... her hand slipped.

Charlie heard a scream and then jumped. He had been watching while the frantic brunette made her dash to the cliffs. He knew what would happen. He knew she would try to climb because they always do. Terror. It makes people do interesting things. He had to give the girl credit, she did move rather fast. She had almost ditched those spiders before she started climbing the cliff he had been standing on.

Time to go to work, he thought to himself as he jumped to save the girl. He caught her mid-fall, then landed on the desert floor with ease. Once the girl was safe she disappeared from his arms. She wouldn't remember the man that saved her from that deadly fall. All she would remember is the moment her hand slipped, the moment she realized she would die. The spiders had vanished when the girl did. Charlie closed his eyes and got ready to deal with the night's next adventure.

Angela woke suddenly and sat up clutching her blanket. She was sweating and her heart was beating rapidly. Her eyes darted around the room but the night was so dark not even one shadow haunted her walls. She slowly laid back down. “No more scary movies before bed,” she muttered, then tried to go back to sleep. Across town an owl called into the night.

* * *

Walking home from the bar, Brandon jumped at the broken silence. “What was that?”

Its just an owl dude,” Joe answered. Last call had been an hour ago, but the bartender had let them finish off two more rounds before kicking them out. Now Joe was helping Brandon walk back to his house. It only took one street for Joe to realize he might not be sober enough to act as a crutch. He seriously considered just picking his friend up. Brandon was not small, but Joe had always been into weight lifting and contact sports, so he kept his body in good shape. He liked being bigger and stronger than everyone. With his good looks, tan skin, and blond hair, Joe liked to think of himself as a hero waiting to happen. He had already decided that if the opportunity were to arise, he might even put on some spandex pants and a cape. In his musing Joe tripped, then barely caught Brandon before he hit the sidewalk. “Sorry buddy,” Joe said, then rubbed his eyes before throwing Brandon's arm around his shoulder once again. As they walked down the street Joe looked up and realized that he couldn't see the moon. All he saw was an inky black sky. He looked over at Brandon who was focused at his feet, desperately trying to put one foot in front of the other in a futile attempt to walk a straight line. The yellow glow cast by the street lights made his face look almost inhuman. His eyes looked like liquid silver and his skin looked hollow. For a moment, Joe was taken in by the sight. He shook it off and kept walking. “Got to get you home, B. Keep walking. Come on, its not far now,” Joe said. They only had one more street to go. The next light they passed under suddenly went dark and an icy wind pushed its way through them. Joe tensed up and quickened his pace. “I don't like this B. Its too dark. Lets hurry up and get inside,” Joe whispered. Goosebumps aside, Brandon seemed unfased. “I've faced worse,” he muttered. Joe glanced over at Brandon as they turned down Lilac Brush Lane. He decided Brandon's comment was alcohol induced and started toward the gray house on the left.


Here is what I gave the class (yeah... I know... lots of general possible ideas... not enough info, already working on it):

In an old rundown Victorian in a dark city Brandon slammed his fist on the table. "Leave me alone old man!"

A dark figure swooped over his head. He could feel its anger . "This fight is over. You lost. Leave me in peace."

Looming in the corner, the shadowy figure seemed to sigh. He just doesn't understand, the figure thought to himself as he watched Brandon down another shot. He never did like whiskey, but the boy seemed to live by it these days.

The lights flickered, the faucet dripped; it was all too much for Brandon to handle. Each day he understood more of the past, and the more he understood, the more he drank. His memories of his father had changed. Brandon had realized why they always had to move, why he never had any friends, why everyone else always seemed so happy. Its hard to make friends when you're a ghost, or training to be one. No one else had to share every nightmare in the neighborhood, feel every fear, fight every battle. No one even realized how real their nightmares could be, and now dear old dad wanted him to take over the family business. Brandon looked up at the ghost of his father. His voice shook with imprisoned tears, "I can't handle it. I won't live in those nightmares."

You are the last in our line. Can you really just walk away?

Stop it! Stop invading my head!"

Think of all those people that you are killing.

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!"

You have the power, you always have. Don't turn your back on those who need you.

"What about Mom? She needed you. What about Debbie? What about me! How can you tell me about letting people die when you," Brandon paused for a moment. He was seething. As he refilled his shot glass and threw the strong liquid into his mouth, he glared at the ghost of his father, "You let them die."

At least I tried. You won't even do that. The ghost man was tired of arguing with his son. Believing he had more time, he had let Brandon try to find a normal life for a while. I guess I waited too long, he thought to himself. He watched as Brandon ran his hands through his thick auburn hair.

"How could you let them kill Mom, Dad? And how could you let them take my wife?"

Brandon had learned to deal with his mother's death. He had stored the memory in the attic of his mind, along with many other parts of his childhood. But then one day it all came flooding back. That was the day that Debbie died. Déjà vu. It happened again. Dad failed again. He knew that his father was still "on the job" since he was still here on this plane, even if it was in a spirit form. If he remembered right, his dad had one week to turn over his charges to him after his death, and Brandon was going to fight him every step of the way.

When his dad failed to answer the question, Brandon got up from the table and started across the room. His fingers trailed over the dark wooden table and as he passed the old stained sink, he let go of the shot glass in his other hand. It hit the rusted drain with a clank that seemed to echo through the stagnant air. Brandon glanced out the open window at the walkway that ran between the red brick house next door and his own. No one was around to witness his father's uninvited presence in the land of the living. Overhead, the lamp cast an eerie yellow light on the olive green walls and swung ever so slightly, almost as though an invisible hand had knocked against it. Ominously ticking, the wall clock added a surreal feeling to the room.

Brandon still could not believe all this was happening. Why did he move into that house? He and his father had been estranged for years. He didn't need the money. Well, he did but he had been perfectly fine in his one bedroom apartment. Now that he was here, he realized why his father had willed the house to him. "I should have just sold the place," Brandon muttered under his breath as he reached the doorway to the front room.

Thoughts of the last few years of freedom washed over him. How foolish to think he had escaped. Dad always did joke about how his family never had to worry about looking for work. Brandon just believed he was trying to stay positive. Sure, there were benefits if you ever had the guts or time to use them. To sense fear, to be able to know what a person was most afraid of; those things could be put to good use. The society does take care of expenses, but at what cost? Dad never had any friends as far as Brandon knew. Work and sleep, work and sleep, at least since Mom disappeared. What about all the people whom Dad had helped? They never even knew he existed. The job never got any easier. People often fantasize about being able to do things with their minds. If they only knew how much they actually did, and how hard it was to clean up after.

The society had named them Knightguards. The description in the job book was fairly vague, but Brandon knew all about it. He had grown up with it after all. The Knightguards were responsible for getting people through their nightmares alive. No one ever remembered them once they had woken up, which meant the job was done right. The world most "normal" folk would call the dream world, known as Kirworld to the Society, is just as real as our own but we only enter it in our sleep. It has something to do with the frequency that Kirworld operates on. Sometimes some of those who live in the Kirworld would travel back with the dreamer and enter our world. Part of a Knightguard's job was to take care of this little complication. If you ever woke up in the middle of the night, looked out your window, and saw something that couldn't be real, then you have seen a Kir. That's what the society calls them anyway. Many of the strange creatures people report seeing everyday are just escaped Kirs that were never caught. Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, all Kirworld escapees.

In his musings Brandon had forgot his father. Now, as he stood in the doorway the black wispy shape swelled up in front of him.

The time has come for you to join the society my son. Our talents are must be used for the good of everyone.

“And end up alone like you? I don’t think so,” Brandon replied.

I wasn’t always alone. I friends and I had my family. I was happy, but that changed when I lost your mother. Many of our friends died in the fight and after that, well, I could bring myself to get too involved in other people’s lives. Besides, I have always had you and the job keeps me busy. Or, it did keep me busy.

“I’m going to bed. Hopefully, I won’t be seeing you.” And with that Brandon walked out of the room. He made his way around the table in the dinning room and nearly tripped over the large overstuffed couches in the parlor. It took a few moments to regain his balance, during which he realized maybe he had indulged in one shot too many. He continued to inch across the dark room toward the entryway that contained both the front door, and the stairs to the second level. When he reached the light panel on the wall, he flipped the switch that would illuminate his way up the stairs. “No point in taking chances,” he muttered to himself.

He started to climb the stairs and began to realize whether he could see or not, might not make the difference in his ability to reach the top. Each stair gave a little creek as he stepped and the banister felt unsteady in his hand. On a normal day he would have feared for his safety, but tonight he was completely focused on getting up the stairs.

Once he reached the second level he immediately went to the left. His goal was that first door, the bathroom door. Drinking can produce a very strong need to become intimately acquainted with the bathroom and all that it can offer. After washing his hands and face with cold water, Brandon walked down the hallway, flipping off the door leading to his father’s old study as he passed. At the end of the hall was his father’s bedroom. He was going to sleep in his father’s bed. The thought of it was troublesome but Brandon was too drunk and tired to care. Without thought to his clothing or shoes, Brandon fell onto the bed and passed out before his head hit the pillow.

Back in the kitchen, the ghost of Brandon’s father thought about the situation at hand. He knew Brandon was too drunk to think straight so there was no point in telling him about what would happen when he fell asleep.

Time to start your training my son.

And with that, he faded into the darkness of the night.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

too clean

people say funny things. many quoteable lines have been uttered around me.

"Anything that clean has got to be evil." -Unger

My story was criticked (no idea how to spell that) in class last night. Not as bad as I thought it would be ... they wanted more of stuff, which is what I thought was going to happen since I barely wrote anything at all. I'll post it next (without changing anything so you can get the first draft). It is the start of a larger work... if I get around to writing it. I have to write another story for this class as well. It is due the day before Thanksgiving.

Sunday, October 02, 2005


why do I keep dreaming about trains andsubways and people dying on them or dark shadowy ghost figures that are somehow involved. What to trains represent? to those of you who are into the who dreambook thing.

Monday, September 26, 2005

new dreams

Fri night:
brother and sister
dad and mom are evil/devil like
kill people- part of the family business
they want to have fmaily meeting
mom & dad trying to get bro & sis to take over for them.
Live in the house
Are haunting people they know
Family meeting: so late that sis gets mad and takes off with her friend.
Maybe that happens earlier...
flashback: bro & sis had normal life before mom & dad started interfereing
This could be funny & scary ... Interesting concept
maybe parents trying to kill them to "help them out"

Sat night:
Dreamed about royal line hidden because of the normal last of the line someone wants to kill them off thing. Had back way into apartment on the street ... a hide out place safe house... I was all ninja-y and knew the ways in and out of things. Was one of the crown wearing gals.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


I am really needing to get into writing... school starts next week and then I will have to be keeping up with writing for my class... that seems to be the way that I ever get anything written. I have started to read the Feist books again. Totally cool. I keep waking up wanting to write and remember what I dreamed and I used to be pretty good at that... I need to put a journal next to my bed again. or get a laptop and keep it next to my bed or have a cozy place with a computer so I don't leave that dream state so that I don't lose it. I get awesome story ideas that way because my dreams are so vivid and full of detail sometimes. Maybe I will post some of my old dreams if I can get them off of my old computer.

Friday, August 05, 2005

can use in story?

How would you like to see a movie: standing on my head in green jello lol =D I would like to take a spaceship to neptune to see the movie

Alliteration store... by your letters here (from misheard thing)